Section 5: Dwalin
Word Count: 300 (1014 so far)
Disclaimer: If I owned the hobbit, it would be crack.
Summary: Oakenshield is not the only byname carried by members of Thorin's company. Some are badges of honor, some are marks of courage and some their owners just wish they could live down.
1. Kíli 4. Glóin
Bilbo had never paid much attention to the many ways his companions addressed each other for he already found their given names almost impossible to track. However, the first time that he heard someone call Dwalin Harvestmother, the hobbit simply had to ask. Balin was the one who told him the story because his brother refused to speak of it and by the time the old dwarf finished his tale, Bilbo knew that he would never look at the warrior the same way.
“There was this village, a bit of an odd place really, but they always paid well for smithing so we stopped by every year. However, one autumn they were having some kind of festival and refused to let us enter unless we agreed to take part. Of course since the contest was only open to women, something which we were sadly lacking at the time, the five of us had to improvise. But my dear brother filled out the borrowed dress quite nicely and the men believed us when we swore that dwarrowdams all carried such thick beards. So they declared him the winner, crowning Dwalin Harvest Mother of River's Bend, and those of us who were there to see it have never let him live it down.”
Balin clapped a hand on Bilbo's shoulder when he had finished, walking off with a hearty chuckle at the memory. However, this left the hobbit alone with Dwalin, who pinned him with a ferocious glare instead.
“If you ever call me that, burglar, you'll find out first hand why I'm also known as Skullcrusher,” The warrior promised grimly and the hobbit nodded his agreement with wide eyes. Though later on that night, when he was alone with his thoughts, Bilbo took the chance to laugh hysterically.