Title: The Trouble With Maps
Word Count: 282
Disclaimer: The Hobbit does not belong to me, etc. etc.
Summary: Thorin is seriously directionally-challenged but insists on choosing the path.
"Thorin, give me that map."
"No! I can read it!"
"Of course you can, Thorin, but you remember what you promised me when I joined this company?"
"I know, I know, I said I'd always let one of the others choose our path. But I'm sure if you just allowed me to do it this one time, you'd see that all the other times were flukes."
"You led us off a cliff, Thorin."
"It was a small cliff, anyone could have missed it. You said you wanted a short cut."
"A short cut yes, a quick death no. And what about the time with the bear?"
"What about the bear? I was just walking along, minding my own business when that thing jumped out at me. And I got a fantastic coat out of it. Isn't it majestic?"
"Yes, yes, very kingly, but if I remember correctly you were looking for the pantry at the time."
"Well, it was dark, and I was really drunk. You can't hold that one against me."
"Fine. I won't count the bear. But that still leaves the cliff, the lake, the spiders, the wrong inn, the wrong town, the wrong mountain, and that time in Thranduil's bedroom that we promised never to speak of again. So will you please hand over that map!"
"No! I am Thorin Oakenshield, I am the leader of this company and I am damn well going to lead it somewhere before this quest is done. Look, that way is obviously north, so you can either follow me now or I'll leave you behind."
"Thorin, that map is upside down! Thorin, come back here will you! Thorin, watch out for that tree!"