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Minifill: The Trouble With Maps

So it seems that this journal is pretty much going to be nothing but Hobbit fic, since I was inspired by yet another prompt. This time for directionally-challenged Thorin, which actually might as well be canon because I'm not sure how he managed to get lost twice on the way to Bag End. Everyone else found it fine.

Title: The Trouble With Maps
Characters/Pairings: None
Word Count: 282
Disclaimer: The Hobbit does not belong to me, etc. etc.
Summary: Thorin is seriously directionally-challenged but insists on choosing the path.

"Thorin, give me that map."

"No! I can read it!"

"Of course you can, Thorin, but you remember what you promised me when I joined this company?"

"I know, I know, I said I'd always let one of the others choose our path. But I'm sure if you just allowed me to do it this one time, you'd see that all the other times were flukes."

"You led us off a cliff, Thorin."

"It was a small cliff, anyone could have missed it. You said you wanted a short cut."

"A short cut yes, a quick death no. And what about the time with the bear?"

"What about the bear? I was just walking along, minding my own business when that thing jumped out at me. And I got a fantastic coat out of it. Isn't it majestic?"

"Yes, yes, very kingly, but if I remember correctly you were looking for the pantry at the time."

"Well, it was dark, and I was really drunk. You can't hold that one against me."

"Fine. I won't count the bear. But that still leaves the cliff, the lake, the spiders, the wrong inn, the wrong town, the wrong mountain, and that time in Thranduil's bedroom that we promised never to speak of again. So will you please hand over that map!"

"No! I am Thorin Oakenshield, I am the leader of this company and I am damn well going to lead it somewhere before this quest is done. Look, that way is obviously north, so you can either follow me now or I'll leave you behind."

"Thorin, that map is upside down! Thorin, come back here will you! Thorin, watch out for that tree!"



( 14 comments — Leave a comment )
Jan. 11th, 2013 06:46 pm (UTC)
Jan. 11th, 2013 07:52 pm (UTC)
That's exactly the reaction I was going for. Thanks.
Jan. 11th, 2013 10:13 pm (UTC)
GLORIOUS!!! Absolutely glorious!! Had me giggling the whole time! :D

Thorin, watch out for that tree! Did this line give anybody else 'George of the Jungle' feels or was it just me??? XD
Jan. 12th, 2013 01:41 am (UTC)
You noticed that then? George of the Jungle is totally where I stole it from.
Jan. 12th, 2013 07:54 pm (UTC)
lol! I did! Not only because George of the Jungle is a pretty awesome movie, but my little sister used to watch it constantly - I'm sure you can see where I'm going with this. XD
Jan. 12th, 2013 08:22 pm (UTC)
Of course :) Although I have to admit, the watch out for that tree bit is about all I remember anymore.
Jan. 18th, 2013 04:25 am (UTC)
Best part if you ask me. ^_^
Jan. 18th, 2013 08:50 am (UTC)
Well yeah. That's probably why I remember it.
Jan. 25th, 2013 07:49 pm (UTC)
Jan. 11th, 2013 10:39 pm (UTC)
Not all who wander are lost...
but some are in fact, quite lost.
Jan. 13th, 2013 02:31 am (UTC)
This is brilliant XD
Directionally-challenged Thorin is the best!
Jan. 13th, 2013 02:40 am (UTC)
Thanks :)
Directionally-challenged Thorin is pretty much my head-canon now. Especially since in the movie he really is almost never in front except when riding, and I figure the pony probably knows where its going.

Edited at 2013-01-13 02:42 am (UTC)
Jan. 25th, 2013 08:31 am (UTC)
Made of win. A bear while looking for the pantry... :D
Jan. 25th, 2013 08:56 am (UTC)
Well I figure Thorin had to get his awesome cape from somewhere.

And nice icon by the way.
( 14 comments — Leave a comment )


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