Antarctica-or-bust (rata_toskr) wrote,

Six Strains of Heartbreak: Lament

Title: Six Strains of Heartbreak
2: Lament
Pairings: Kíli/Girl (this part),[Overall Pairings]Various/Kíli (het & slash)
Word Count: 867 (1474 total)
Disclaimer: If I owned the hobbit there would be probably be more angst
Summary: Five times Kíli broke someone's heart and one time they broke his

1. Elegy

I was young then, young and foolish. The world of love and courting still seemed a grand adventure and he was the loveliest boy that I had ever seen.

It was summer when they arrived in our tiny little town, one of the hottest summers in all my fifteen years. I was standing at the well when their ponies came into view and I watched with fascination for I had never seen a dwarf before.

There were five of them, worn and weary from travel, but underneath the dust and grime the dwarves looked nothing like I had always imagined. Short yes, and bearded, but father's tales had them hewn from rock and stone, not living flesh and certainly not so handsome. When one of the younger dwarves, dark-haired and graceful, shot me a grin as they rode by, my heart fluttered and I knew that I was lost.

When my father heard of their arrival, he forbid me to see them so of course I went by their forge at every opportunity. The older dwarves worked within but the younger lads stood out front to draw in customers and it was easy for me to sneak glances at my crush as I walked by.

This went on for several days until one morning the blond one called me over with a smile and introduced himself.

“I am Fíli, at your service and this is my brother Kíli. We've noticed you around the village, did you need something repaired?”

I stammered my denial, embarrassed to be caught out in my staring, but the two of them soon had me more at ease. When I left that day it was with a bursting happiness within my heart because I finally had a name to call my dwarf and knew that he had seen me.

The weeks that followed were some of the sweetest of my life as I bloomed with the innocent joy of my first love. As I became more comfortable around the brothers, I gained the courage to speak with Kíli on my own and I spent hours listening to his tales of the distant lands they'd traveled. To me, who had never been ten miles from my village, the dwarf seemed a grand adventurer and I dreamed that he would take me with him when he left.

A silly dream perhaps, but Kíli seemed to return my interest, always shooting me a blinding smile and having a kind word or new story to tell. He would even use the scraps from his uncle's work to make me little gifts, here a pair of earrings, there a woven cloak pin, and in turn I'd bring the brothers lunch as often as I could.

If it was never more than that, I thought it was because we were never alone together, always meeting out in public where everyone could see. But then one evening as I was returning late from my grandparents' house, I walked by the forge and saw Kíli closing up the shop. When the dwarf saw me his face lit up and he said that he had something to give me, before running back inside.

“Close your eyes and put out your hands,” the dwarf told me cheerfully once he returned and when I did as he asked, Kíli placed something in my palms. I opened my eyes again to see an intricate metal flower, a rose caught just as it bloomed and shaped into a clasp.

“It's beautiful,” I whispered in awe and he grinned at me proudly, obviously pleased by my delight. It was the loveliest thing that anyone had ever given me and caught up in the moment I leaned down and kissed him on the lips, my heart filled to bursting.

However, when I drew back Kíli's face was shocked and my hopes died as he stammered. “I-I'm sorry...I didn't realize...You're like a sister.”

I flushed in shame and embarrassment over so misreading the situation, and anger too at Kíli for not knowing that he held my fragile heart. So I threw his gift at him and ran home, berating myself for my stupidity as I collapsed down on my bed.

From that day forward I refused to walk by the forge again because I could not bear to face him and see the pity in his eyes. Though I also could not bring myself to throw away Kíli's other gifts, I hid them away and spent my nights bitterly remembering all the times we'd had.

Some weeks later, the dwarves rode away and I never saw Kíli again, although it has been many years. However, on the morning that they left, I opened our door to find a small box upon the step and when I lifted the lid there was the hair clasp, my dwarf's final gift to me. At the sight I had to smile through my tears and that's when I knew my sorrow would not last.

I still have that clasp and wearing it is always bittersweet. While I am happily married, no one ever forgets their first love, and Kíli will always live on in the crack across my heart.

3. Canon

Tags: drabble, heartbreak*, het, minor pov, poignant, preseries
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